Make Better Decisions by Knowing WTF You Stand For

A Gut Check on Core Values

I sat across from this wonderful woman, listening to her story of how she faced a difficult career decision. Eyes wet, shoulders slumped, she clearly felt defeated and uncertain about her future. It was a do-it-or-don’t kind of decision, and after we discussed the background and context, I asked, “Which choice feels more aligned with your values?”

She paused, reflected, and then admitted that she couldn’t answer that because she wasn’t completely clear on what her core values were. She seemed a bit embarrassed by this, and at the same time, I could tell this question had sparked something. I watched her write “core values” down in her notebook, and I said, “Yes. Start there.”

Because when your values are clear, your decisions are easy.

Okay, okay, not like easy button, zero doubt, la-di-da easy. Sure, some decisions are like that, but others are really freakin’ hard, and that's when having the filter of your firmly held values makes things much less daunting.

You might be wondering why I’m talking about personal core values in the business-based Substack. Worry not, dear—we’re going to cover both!

Starting with personal is critical because YOU are the #1 priority in your life. Your wants and needs must come first for you to bring your best, badass self to the business you run. And a big part of meeting your needs and satisfying your wants is grounded in ensuring that every choice you make is aligned with YOUR values.

Most people have a general idea of their personal core values, but like the young woman above, if asked to articulate, define, and use them as a filter, they’d struggle. That’s nothing to be embarrassed about! The word values is thrown around all higgledy-piggledy, but rarely is anyone actually teaching us what that means or how to identify them. Wouldn’t it be awesome if we prioritized that in our children’s education instead of, say, I don’t know, racist, religious ideologies??

Your core values are the guiding principles that shape how you live your life. They represent what matters most to you, are non-negotiable, and align with who you are and what you believe. When clear, they’re actionable, providing you with a foundation from which you choose your partners, friends, careers, places you live, and more.

My core values are Freedom, Family, Fun, Impact, Grit, and Growth.

When I’m facing a big decision, the very first thing I do is run it through my values filter. If it isn’t aligned, I don’t do it.

For example, a former coach of mine reached out recently with an opportunity to take over her business. I have great respect for her and what she has built, and I felt deeply flattered. Flattery aside, my gut was saying no, so I did a quick run through the values filter.

• Freedom? Nope. Her business was under the umbrella of a larger corporation—no more running things entirely on my terms.

• Family? Nope. This would take time away from my family.

• Fun? Nope. I have the most fun in business when I’m doing things my way (see: Freedom).

• Impact? Ehhh. Yes, I would still have a positive impact on others, but her business isn’t focused on women, and that impact is my passion and purpose.

I didn’t even need to get to grit and growth, and all of this took mere moments in my mind. Because my values are clearly defined, I was able to quickly say, Thank you so much for thinking of me, but I’m not interested. And better yet, I was able to explain why. Sure, she was still disappointed, but she also completely understood and appreciated the context.

If you’re looking for a fun tool to help figure out your core values, check out My Hot List below!

Now let’s talk business…

If the business you own, run, or lead within is lacking in the core values department, I highly encourage you to make this your number one priority.

Lacking could mean they’ve never been defined, or that they do exist, but are more espoused than embodied. In either case, your organization is missing a crucial component of a strong culture, AND the number one tool you need to make decisions.

Like whom to hire, fire, recognize, and reward. I shit you not, defining your values will be the BEST thing to happen to your ability to determine if you have the right people on the bus. No more hemming and hawing about the top performer bringing in the big money who treats everyone like doo-doo. Clearly, that guy isn’t living your values, so byyyyyeeeee.

I mean, unless one of your values is being a dick, in which case, please unsubscribe.

It applies in the other direction as well. Let’s say one of your values is Excellence Always, and you have a team member who is the nicest human on the planet, but they do mediocre work, and slowly to boot. As hard as it may be to let that person go, you have the foundation on which to do it: they are not living your core values. It doesn’t make them bad or wrong; they simply aren’t right for your culture. The sooner y’all figure that out, the sooner both of you can move on to better fits.

If you’re a solopreneur like me, your personal core values might be your business core values. Even if you run a larger business with employees and teams, your personal can influence and overlap with your business. At the very least, there should be alignment. If you find yourself leading in an organization whose values conflict with your own, that’s a pretty serious sign that YOU are not on the right bus.

Life is too short to live out of alignment, boo! Whatever values work you need to do, do it now. This is NOT one for The Parking Lot. This is top priority, foundational work, and if you need any help, you know who to call 😉.

XX. Coach Sarah.

The Takeaway

Being the woman in charge means making hundreds of decisions on a weekly, and sometimes daily, basis. It’s a lot. And it can be fucking exhausting. For those big, juicy decisions that take the most out of us, using your values as a filter will make a significant impact on your fatigue.

Clarifying your personal core values starts with identifying the non-negotiables that guide your life. Tools like the deck in My Hot List can help you explore and define what matters most.

Today’s exercise is focused on your business core values. Of course, components of it can be applied to your personal work as well!

Your Assignment

Think of the people you’ve worked with—a team member, client, collaborator—who you’d clone in a heartbeat because you deeply respect and admire them.

Step 1: List their names.

Step 2: For each person, write down the specific traits, behaviors, qualities, and values that earn your respect. What do they do that leads you to admire them?

Step 3: Look for patterns. What qualities show up again and again? Highlight the ones that feel most meaningful to you (and your leadership team) and aligned with how you run your business.

Step 4: Dive in deeper: which of these feel like non-negotiables in your business? Which ones reflect how you would expect every person on your team to show up? Remember: You will use your values to hire, fire, recognize, and reward.

Narrow it down until you have 3 to 5 powerful and deeply aligned values.

The work doesn’t stop here, friends. Rolling your values out and ensuring they don’t just wind up as words on a wall is as, if not more, important than defining them. I’ll cover this in a future post, but if you simply can’t wait, let’s chat!

My Hot List

Here’s what’s keeping me focused, fired up, and feeling like myself.

1. Getting Inspired: As impactful as it is stunning, The Live Your Values Deck is a work of actual art. “Living your values increases your compassion, reduces your stress, enhances your confidence, and allows you to experience more intimacy in your relationships.”

2. Reading/Listening: Likeable Badass by Alison Fragale. My absolute favorite business book, and this is my second time through it! Primarily targeted to women, but recommended for all genders, it teaches us the difference between power and status, why the latter is key to achieving the former, and has tons of treasure on how to get it done.

3. Drinking: Chocolate-banana-peanut-butter protein shakes made with Orgain. My daughter is gluten and dairy free, and we’ve tried several plant-based protein powders with mixed results. We had this one at our local gym and never looked back. Creamy, fudgy, mixes well in the blender, and doesn’t have a weird aftertaste. Highly recommended—get that protein in, ladies!!

4. Celebrating: My Google Business page is LIVE!!!! What a fucking ordeal. Google had it blocked for an unknown reason, and customer support was a maddening loop of uselessness. HUGE shoutout to my masterful Online Business Manager, Shellana Keeling, for finally getting it fixed! Now go leave me a review 😘.